LOST HOPES
by caliophe
Summary: Edward left Bella and never came back because she never went diving alone. Now she found new love with her best friend. but what if he will leave her too?
1. Chapter 1

Edward never came back, because Bella never gone diving alone. She found new love. But what if that love wont last long? What if not just Edward but her best friend Jake left too, not giving her any reasons?

Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I might add own later.

CHAPTER ONE - ANOTHER DISAPPOINTMENT

After when Cullens left I have been lost. Lost for so long. I don't know how Charlie could live with me. I was barley living. I couldn't eat, sleep and speak with anybody. Even breathing was painful. Everywhere when I looked I have seen him, my memories of lost love. I didnt understand why he left me. Did he even loved me a bit? It looks like answer is no. It took me quite few months before I started coming to real live again. I wouldn't think that somebody could help me in any way. Then I started seeing Jake. To be honest I was using him. I knew he likes me so I used him. I used him to fix motorcycles so I could hear angry voice of my true and only love. Jake knew how I feel , he had too, but he has never gave up. His patience and love make me see him a bit different. He became more than a friend to me. I would never loved him more than I loved Edward but between us was a fire, which brought me to life again.  
Still remember when after our cliff diving he told me he loved me. And I wasn't scared. I loved him too. It was different love than my and Edwards, more safe, normal, more healthy. I could see how Charlie felt better finally seeing me smiling. Me and Jake have done a lot of crazy stuff. I could always count on him. I would have never believed that friendship and change into something more special but it did. And now, after my 21st birthday I was engaged, getting ready for wedding, which was just few weeks ahead. I kept small secret behind Jakes back, the secret which would make him the happiest guy in the world.  
"Seth, Im so happy that you are Jakes best man" I said. Through these year Seth became part of my family.  
" So do I. I cant wait. Im wondering where is he now. I didnt see him for ages" He admitted.  
" Yeah, exactly five hours" I laughed. Sometimes it looks like he was missing him more than I do. And I need to say I missed him in every minute. I still sometimes was thinking about Edward. I have seen him almost every night in my dreams. But they weren't a bad dreams anymore.  
" I will check up on him" Seth said.  
I was just about trying my dress when Seth came back.  
"Seth get out" I shouted when he went in when I have been half dressed.  
"Oh, Sorry"  
" You not really sorry, are you?" I said putting clothes on. " Ok its safe now. You can come in. So where's my future husband?"  
" Weird I cant rich him. But I contacted Leah and she has got some news. But still, even she was hiding something. Hmm...Maybe some wedding gift?" He smiled.  
Before Leah come to my house I had a time to take a shower and eat some food. My dad was watching tv with Seth when I opened the door to let Leah in. It difficult to understand by me and her became best friends after I lost Alice.  
" Hey" I hugged her." What kind of news you have" I smiled.  
She looked at me with strange face. I have never seen her like this before.  
" Leah, what is wrong" I begged.  
" Im so sorry" She started. " Im so sorry"  
" Why? What happened?" I asked more curious and stressed.  
" He left Bella..." She hugged me.  
" Who left?" I could stand not knowing.  
" Jake. He is gone. I spoke with him just for a moment. He didnt explain anything. Jacob just asked me to tell you he is sorry and he is doing that for you. He said that he love you more than anything."  
" I don't....I don't understand He left... Hope he will be back before wedding." I cried hoping. It couldn't happened to me again.  
" No Bella he won't"  
And that moment I fainted. When I wake up I hoped that it was just bad dreams, but it wasn't. In the kitchen Seth, Leah and Charlie were arguing. I could hear Seth shouting " He wouldn't do that to her" But he did. He left me. First it was Edward, my true love, then my supposed to be husband. I couldn't believe that. Every day I was sitting in my window waiting for him to be back. Charlie stopped talking to Billy. I was a mess again. When my wedding day come I was still in my window. I almost never left that place. But Jacob has never come back. And I was all alone again. I get depression, stopped talkin to anybody. Jacob was my sun, my safe harbour, he couldn't left me like that. Seth and Leah tried to contact him several times with no result. I wouldn't bare that pain again. If not my secret, my only reason to leave, I would do something stupid. But my life was important for me now more than ever. I carried a new life in me, something born in love and it become my reason to take care of my life. I promised myself I will never fall in love again. I will give all my love to that unborn child, Jakes child. I didnt even have a time to tell him that Im pregnant. Its time to tell my dad.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2 – THE TRUTH

I didnt know how to start. Charlie looked at me with a sadness in his eyes. I knew that he feel the pain I feel. He loved Jake like his own son, Billy was his best friend, was.  
" Dad, I need to tell you something" I started. I was shaking. " I will have a child" I said finally, not taking any breaths. My dad has been shocked.  
" You... You are pregnant?" Finally asked, checking that he heard my words. " How far?" His voice become soft and calm.  
" Almost four months." I confessed.  
" I noticed you are... well.. you put some weight past few weeks but I thought its all that stress." He hugged me. I was expecting him to be angry, disappointed. But he wasn't. " I will help you how I can". He added.  
" I should tell Billy" I could see how Charlie face is changing.  
" No!" He shouted.  
" Dad, I have too. He has right to know." He knew I was right.  
" Ill drive you there".  
When we arrived at Billy shows I noticed Seth waiting near door. Charlie was tense. I asked him too stay i the car. I know I should drive there alone but I needed my dad now. I needed to know that someone is there for me.  
" Bella, what are you doing here?" Seth asked concerned. "I tried to find out what happened to Jacob, but he said he doesn't know anything. He is worried too"  
" I didnt came here because of that Seth. I need to talk to him. Come with me. You my good friend, the best fiend and you should know too. I have some news."  
I knocked at the door. It tooks a while before Billy opened. I could tell after looking at his face that he didnt expect me there.  
" Bella, come in please" He started. " Im so sorry Bella. I don't know why he has done that. He didnt contact me either. Im so sorry."  
" Its ok." I said." I need to tell you something."  
Seth stand by my side.  
" Billy, you will be granddad. I would tell you before, but I wanted to Jake find out first. But well, since he..." My voice broke. I started crying, again. Billy stood there like I would trying to tell him that I am a witch or something. After few minutes he sit dawn. Seth looked at me first.  
" Oh Bella." He said really quietly and then hugged me. At least he, my Jakes best friend, my friend was there for me.  
I didnt wait for Billy to back to normal.  
" Seth, can you drive me home" I asked.  
" But your dads here" He admitted.  
" He need to talk to Billy."  
" Ok then." Seth agreed.  
I came back to truck. Charlie didnt really want to speak with me. I was tired of he and Billy fighting. It wasn't their fault that Jacob left me.  
" Dad, you need to speak with Billy. I know you want to. It not his fault. He doesn't know anything. Please dad. Seth will drive me home"  
He listened carefully and I was surprised when he actually get out from the car and went to Billys house. Seth and I left. The drive didnt take long.  
" Seth can you stay with me till Charlie wont be back?" I asked. I didnt want to stay alone in this house. Too many memories of Edward, Alice and Jake have been here.  
" Sure" I had an answer." "Bella.... Can I tell...."  
" Yes, you can tell the pack. I want them to know, especially Leah. I need to tell to Mikes parents too. Its good its summer, I am not sure how long I will stay at work now. I will try as long as I can" I said.  
Charlie was at Billys few hours but when he came back home he was in better mood. It looks like it went well. Seth left soon after and I felt so lonely again. I was sad and angry at the same time. And then I touched my stomach and I gasped. A bit of happiness in a lake of tears.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3 – BIRTH  
I dint noticed when these 5 months passed. It seemed like it was just yesterday when I told Charlie the truth. I left work months ago when it was too hard to move for me. I didnt want to know what I have even when a doctor insisted. I just wanted to know that baby is ok. He smiled and said that I will have great news at birth. I didnt know what he meant. Seth and Leah was with me all the time, everyday. Even the pack and Emilly were visited me few times a week. I still haven't heard anything from Jake. I thought that probably he imprinted and didnt want to tell me. But I guess I will never know the truth. I thought about Edward a lot too. I was thinking that if Alice seen that I am pregnant at least she would come, but she didnt so they probably forgot about me.  
Nobody knew how much pain I was now. Giving a birth its a nightmare. Leah was by my side holding my hand. Good that she was a werewolf so I couldn't crash her bones. Charlie, Sam, Seth, Embry and Quil were in waiting room.  
" Push!" I heard a doctor.  
I wanted but it was to painful. I tried. And then something happened. Pain wasn't that sharp anymore.  
"Congratulations, Its a girl!" doctor said and then I saw a small beautiful face. She was gorgeous. I could feel tears on my chicks. Then pain started coming back. What was wrong? Nurse put my baby away from my site. I didnt want to die, not now, when my reason to live was real.  
" It looks like second one cant wait" doctor said. Second one? Twins? So that was that bid surprise. It wasn't long before I heard another scream. It was a baby boy. Jakes son. I wa crying my eyes out when a nurse gave me them both. Leah cried too.  
" They are beautiful Bella" She smiled.  
She was right. They have been my angels. After a while Charlie and Seth came to see me. Pack needed to wait outside, my room was just to small. Leah had girl in her eyes and I was holding a boy. Charlie went in and at that moment his eyes became wet from tears. Seth has massive smile on his face.  
"Can I hold him" Seth asked when Charlie get my little girl from Leah. I gave him my sleeping boy carefully. I could see that he was a bit scared. He was still young though.  
" Leah can you get Billy to come in? " I asked. I have been so tired now. In few minutes Billy was on my dads side.  
I hoped that Jake somehow will be here or Alice. But the weren't. It was so many people near me and I felt so lonely.  
" Did you chose the names?" Leah asked when Charlie was changing the kids with Billy. They was socked about twins like me.  
"Yes. Its Ellie Leah and Jacob Seth" I said. I wanted to name a boy after Edward but I was afraid it will be too painful. But He needed name of his father.  
" Leah, Seth?" Seth was so happy.  
" Yeah since I thought you will be a godparents" I smiled. I didnt see that much happiness in my friends for ages. For me one thing what was important now were my angels. At that moment I didnt think what I will do about work. I could see just too small cuties totally dependant on me. I loved them more than anything in the world. They became my savers, my life.

4 Years later.....

Its september 13th, again. I hated that day for obvious reason. Every single birthdays reminded me that im getting older. Im 25 now. It shouldnt matter to me know after so many years . But it did. That night when Jasper attacked me changed everything. Edward left, then Jake. I probably wouldnt be here now if not the fact that I had two beautiful kids. The both had black hair and eyes exactly like their dad, Jacob. I tried to explain to them that his dad love them and he needed to go to make them safe. It was a lie, but I couldnt say anything else. Jacon never find out about them, didnt contact Sam, Billy or even Seth. I had thoughts that something happened to him. I needed to be strong for my kids who quite often called Seth a dad. He didnt mind. Over these years he and Leah have been more than friends for me. Usually one of them stayed over to help me, especially when Charlie was working.  
Every friday I sat in my room and was writing a letter to Alice. I hoped that someday she will see that and come back. I have never been angry with her. My kids were playing on the floor so I started writing.  
" Dear Alice,  
Its been so long. I have my birthday today. You know how I hated it, last time when I seen you. Now, I dream You could do a party for me. I miss you everyday. Remember I am not angry on You. I am angry on your brother for what he has done to me..."  
" Mommy" Jakey started climbing on my lap. He sister started doing the same. " What you are doing?" He asked. I was amazed who quick they learn to speak. They both have been so smart.  
" Im writing a letter to friend" I answered.  
" Friend?" Ellie was keeping the attention now.  
" Yes my friend Alice"  
" Where id she?" They keep going.  
" She needed to go to different city many years ago" I was calm. They didnt knew the story. Four years its not enough for them to understand all that things.  
" Is she with our other dad? " Ellie looked at me with the same expression like my Jacob when he told me he loved me. I still called him my Jacob, even after that for years.  
" No sweetie its different story" I replied. " You to go and play, so I can finish a letter".  
Slowly, and not happy they came back to the floor but didnt took eyes from my face. I smiled to them and write again.  
" Jake didnt come back either Alice. I wanted my kids to know their real father. But he..." I broke. I couldnt write anything more. I started crying. I felt a bit weak past few weeks probably because of stress I had. I was thinking a lot about Edward, Jake and again Edward.  
" Mommy are you ok?" Little Jacob Seth came to me and hugged me.  
" Im ok. I think we should go to Leah and Seth. What do you think?" I asked knowing that this will make them happy.  
" Yey" They both screamed.  
And that what we had done. I left a note for dad, before I left.  
When I came to La Push, I was surprised. Nobody from pack was around. I knock to Leah and Seths door.  
"Came in" I heard Leahs voice.  
I opened the door and let myself in. Leah was sitting on the sofa really angry. Ellie Leah and Jake Seth came to her screaming and shouting.  
" He kids" She smiled. " I missed you" They didnt see her like about one day and they looked like it was years.  
" Leah is everything ok?" I asked.  
" Its just guys left me behind again. Something is wrong. I know that Quil found something near the river and they think its a vampire. I wanted to go." She wasnt happy at all. " Im sorry Bella. Happy birthday. I know I should come and say you before, its just we all have been so excited."  
" Its ok. Its not like I want to remember this anyway. So vampire?" I was stressed at that point. Maybe Cullend came back. What if? I missed Edwards face so badly. I knew its too late for us, I knew he didnt want me, but I couldnt stop loving him. It was strange because I missed him, and missed Jacob at the same time. Leah looked at me. She knew what I was thinking.  
" Bella we dont know yet, who it can be. I know you loved him but you shouldnt..." She didnt finish. She didnt have to. Even if it was Edward and his family, it shouldnt matter for me. So why I kept all these letters to Alice?  
" My kids!" Seth shouted as soon as he came in to the door.  
" daddy" my kids run straight to hes arms. Seth changed over few years. He was mad at Jake and i bit sad. but then all hid free time went to Ellie and little Jakey.  
" Bella, Leah we need to talk" He took kids by hands and move towards us.  
" We found a fresh trail. Its definitely vampire.


	4. Chapter 4

BAD NEWS  
After I heard what Seth said, everything went blank. It was a few seconds but when I wake up all 4 faces were looking at me. Did I collapsed again? It looks like.  
" Bella Im taking you to a doctor. It happened to many times past few months.' Seth was serious.  
" Im fine its just a bit of stress" I protested.  
" No, Leah will take care of kids and we are going" I knew I wont win this argument.  
" But what with that vampire. Do you know something else?" I asked  
" No guys are still checking. Come on we going" He pushed me towards car.  
When we walked to hospital all I could think of were Cullens. I hoped and fear about that the same time. Doctor asked few questions then he took m blood. Seth needed to hold y hand because he knew how I would react for a little blood. After one hour of test I have been free. After one week I should know whats wrong with me. But I didnt care. I just wanted to know who is that vampire.  
" Bella" Seth started when we have been in a car on our way back. " You think it can be Edward, dont you?" " Yes" I replied shortly. He was my best friend for quite a long time. I couldnt lie to him.  
" you need to know that it can be somebody different. Since I know that Charlie will be out of town for two weeks, I think you should live with me and Leah."  
I forgot. Charlie needed to spend two weeks in Washington. It was a job thing. He felt guilty for leaving me but it looks like Seth planned everything.  
" Seth I want to stay at home" I said.  
" Fine then I will move in for two weeks."  
" You know you dont need to be with me all the time, you need to have your own life" I admitted. I thought that he feel guilty because of Jake.  
" Bells, you are my sister now, your kids call me dad, I couldnt have imagine better life" He smiled. I saw in his eyes that cheeky person he was few years ago, before all this happened. I loved him, like a brother, friend.  
" Thanks Seth. I mean for everything" I almost cried.  
When we drove back to La Push to take the kids I was thinking a lot. What if my friend was right, what if it was a different vampire? I needed to think about Elie and Jakey first. Living with Seth wasnt bad idea, he spend a lot of nights at my house before, after Jake left. He, and his sister have been two people in my life I trusted totally.  
" Theya re sleeping now" Leah said quietly to me. " Have few hours off, leave them with me, and Seth will take them back later"  
" Thanks Leah." I was so grateful. Finally have a bit of time on my own. I got to my car and drove home. Charlie was already packing.  
" Hi dad. I said.  
" Hi hun. I spoke with Seth before. I am happy he wants to help. You should of chose him not Jake, years ago" Hi smiled.  
" Dad I know you still love Jacob as your own son and you are worried. But me and Seth, we are family already. We have something more than any couple in love can have" I admitted. That was truth.  
" You are right Bells. I will finish my packing. I have flight in few hours.  
I ate some food and went to my room to finish my letter to Alice. I put it when all the letters to her have been. I didnt know when I fall asleep on my bed.  
" Mommy" My babys woke me up after about 2 hours.  
" Hi sweeties. Did you have fun?" I asked.  
" Yeah dad is so funny" They meant Seth as usual. " And auntie Leah too."  
I got them downstairs and found Charlie packing bags two a car.  
" I will drive you to airport" I said.  
" No, Leah will do it" I didnt notice her in the car.  
" Ahh ok" I said.  
After that we had a few hugs. He hadnt left me from four years. I knew that Seth will be here for me, so I didnt feel lonely.

Charlie was in Washington over a week now. Seth and Leah have been there for me all the time. It was a day when I should go to hospital to check what is going on with me.  
" I will come with you" I heard.  
" No Seth, you have promised Ellie and Jake, that you will take them to Billy. They cant wait. I will be fine." I said. Sometimes I felt like he was babysitting me.  
" Ok"  
He actually let me go alone. Its not like Im five and cant go to doctors to pick up the tests results. I waited few minutes before they took me in.  
" Miss Swan" doctor called my name. I wish he could call me Miss Black.  
I went to a small white room and sat on a chair. Doctors face was serious and it didnt make me comfortable.  
" Miss Swan I have a results for you, and you need to now something. We found something in your blood and it looks like cancer cells."  
What? I could hear just one word: cancer.  
" How long/" I asked a doctor, shocked with tears in my eyes. Why it have to happen to me? i have a beautiful twins, I cant leave them hear witought me and a father. I started crying.  
" Illness is in first period whats is mean that you have a good chance to get back to normal. As soon as we started then you have more chance for full recovery."  
I was listening what he was saying but I didnt hear anything. I was dieing... I was sure about that. How few bad headaches and feeling weak can give you a cancer? I was in pieces. Ellie, Jake that was all I could think about when I left hospital. Edward, Jacob become nobody now for me. My kids didnt have a real father they cant lost a mum too. I will fight.


	5. Chapter 5

OLD FRIEND  
I wanted to be strong so badly. But when I looked at the tablets in my hand tears easily came out from my eyes. I was 25 with twins. No husband, no real warm home with an cancer. I was so worried and scared. I pulled out me phone from the pocket and dialed a number.  
" Seth can you take care of kids for a while yet I need to think about something" My voice was shaking. My life became dark once again.  
" Yeah Bells. What happened? Are you crying?" He was panicking now.  
" Im fine." I lied then hang up.  
I needed to get out, get a space. In my life was just one magical place. The place when my life started - the meadow. I get in to my car and in just few minutes been in a place when I could start my walk. I was crying, shaking. I was even angry on whole world. I tripped about 5 times before I get to my special place, place where I and Edward kissed the first time, where I thought that I will become a vampire some day and be a part of Cullen family. I sit dawn, pull my legs to my chest and just cried. I heard something in the trees, like laugh.  
"Edward" I called. I knew that was impossible, but I hoped. Nobody answered. But I felt someones presence.  
" Edward" I tried again. Something came out from opposite direction that I heard the noises. It was Seth.  
" Bella what are you doing here?" He asked concerned.  
" I told you I need to think." I tried to calm myself. " How did you know?"  
" Always when you needed to think you have been here. But Bells...." He stopped, sit in front of me and took my head in his hands.  
" Bells whats wrong?" He looked in my eyes.  
" Im... I am.... Im dying Seth, I am dying..." I almost whispered.  
" What are you saying?" He was shaking a bit. I knew him that well so I was sure he wont change.  
" I have a cancer" I admitted.  
" Oh Bells. Everything will be fine" He pulled me to his chest. I was sitting like that in his arms for few minutes, before I pulled back.  
" Come Bells, I will take you home." He took my hand and we went to a car. Its amazing how good friend he was, the best.  
In the car we have been quiet but all the way Seth was keeping my hand in his.  
" I will go and get Ellie and Jake, I left them with Leah because I was worried." I felt dead inside already. Why my life was so horrible to me. I wanted to call my mum but I couldnt do it. I didnt call Charlie either. House was so empty for me when I came in. It was so cold and quiet. I was still crying when I heard something moving upstairs. Is it Charlie? Not possible.  
" Dad" I asked. No answer.  
I was getting some weird feeling. It was probably similar like when I heard Edward voices in my head. I slowly went to my room. I had nothing to loose. Even if it was some dangerous guy i didnt care. At the moment my life was blank. I opened a door waiting for somebody to hit me.  
" Bella" I heard a familiar, beautiful voice. I looked at the floor. There were my letters everywhere. " I missed you"  
"Alice!" I screamed. I couldnt believe. I just went straight to her arms.  
" Bella Im so sorry. I know about your illness. I had a vision. Second vision about you from a avery long time"  
I was crying my eyes out.  
" I was right. Vampire that werewolves found few weeks ago it was you" I smiled now  
" Werewolves? Do you know werewolves?" She asked.  
" Yes my Jacob... Jacob Black he was one of them. "  
" I heard the story that Carlaisle said to me but I didnt know they still exist." And then a car stopped near my house. It was Seth. In few minutes I could hear a footsteps on the stairs. The doors opened and two similar faces came in screaming.  
" Mummy!" Ellie hugged me like I was missing for years. Jakey stand up and looked at Alice.  
" Mummy, who is it?" He was careful. Then Seth came in. He knew it was vampire.  
" Bells..." He started shaking.  
I stood in the middle.  
" I will go" Alice said.  
" No Alice stay. Seth this is Edwards sister I have told you about" I explained.  
" Is he back too" Seth sounded unhappy.  
" No" She said.  
I turn to Alice.  
" First, that my children: Ellie Leah and Jacob Seth."  
" Are you and him... " I didnt let her finish.  
" Seth is the most important person in my worlds just after my kids but we never... These are Jacob Blacks kids. We supposed to get married." I started.  
" Where is he?" She asked.  
" Alice you dont know? I thought you can see future?" I was confused. Seth was still shaking but just stood by my side.  
" I actually didnt see you for a while now. Apart of last two visions I had: you writing a letter and then a visit in hospital I didnt see you for about 5 years. Im not sure why I just couldnt." She admitted. " After when I saw how you are writing a letter I needed to see you so I took a plane yestaerday."  
" So f you here just one day. Who is a vampire we cought a scent few weeks ago?" Seth asked.  
I was stressed now. Who was that then? And why Alice couldnt see me for so long? What I will do now? I felt weak again. Seth caught my just in time.  
" You need to sit Bells" He whispered.  
" Alice please stay" I was begging now. " Come downstairs and I will rest for a minutes."  
" Yeah mommy is feeling bad again" Jakey admitted and then he took Alices hand. Ellie of course has done the same. " Come we will show you the way. You that friend mommy was talking about right" He smiled to her.  
" Bells, the smell. Its not just Seth who is a werewolf. Am a right?" She asked when she headed to the dorr.  
" No, I have told you Jacob is their dad. I will explain everything later" A shouted after her.  
" Bells are you sure?" Seth whispered.  
" yes. help me to go to the kitchen" I asked. " And then tell Sam what we know"  
" I cant leave you" He started arguing.  
" You dont need to trust her, but trust me" I smiled. He did understand.  
" I wont be long. I promise." He put me on a chair, gave a that look to Alice, kissed Ellie and Jakey and went to door.  
" By daddy Ellie screamed after him.  
Alice looked at me confused.  
" You said.." She started.  
" yes Seth is just their god parent but they never seen a real that so..." And I started my story. In a lot of pain I finally saw my best old friend with the same perfect face and pixie hair. I missed her so much over this years...


	6. Chapter 6

I was so happy to see Alice like I would have been blind for all my life and just saw a sunrise.  
She was looking at me carefully.  
" So can you tell me what happened when we left?" She asked carefully.  
I felt pain inside as soon as I started remanding myself about past.  
" I wasnt well. I was depressed, almost insane, dead inside. Charlie wanted to send me to shrink, he told me he will send me to my mother but it didnt help. You cant imagine how badly I loved your brother. I wanted to give him my life, leave my family, just to be with him. And I treated you as my family but you left and I couldnt live anymore. After all these harsh words from Edward I couldnt breathe. I close myself deep inside. Then something change. I noticed when Im doing something crazy and dangerous I can hear Edwards voice in my head like he was still with me. " I started crying. " I used Jacob, Billys son, to help me fixed old bikes. We spend a lot of time together. He become my friend, my sun. I didnt love him like Edward but my feelings for him were strong enough that I wanted spend a rest of my life with him."  
" So what happened. To be honest I was Checking on you some time, but someday all of my visions about you disappeared".  
" I got pregnant with him but I didnt tell him. I wanted to let him know on our wedding day, but three weeks before our special day, he just run away. I dont even know he is still alive. I was waiting for him everyday, but he never came back. You know he is a werewolf, so I thought Seth can contact him, thats what they do, but he couldnt. "  
" Now I understand. You have been pregnant with werewolf. Carlaisle told us we are natural I just can see them for some reason. And I couldnt see you, because you have been pregnant and now you are with them all the time " She started. " Im sorry Bella. I cant believe how much pain we have given you. I have told him but he didnt listen. What happened after?" She looked concerned now.  
I told her about my two little miracles and my best friend Seth, and how I cope over these years till I found out about my illness.  
" Im so sorry Bella" She said again.  
" Alice, do you know wheres Edward now/" I wasnt sure I wanted to know, I just wanted to be sure he is ok.  
" He is in Africa. Our family havent been together since we left. Emmet couldnt forgive Edward for making him leave. He really missed you. Jasper felt guilty. Carlaisle and Esme tried to convince Edward to stay but he said he needs some time alone. Bella you dont know everything.." She started.  
" No Alice its ok. You cant make somebody to love you." I still cried.  
" Bella you silly. He loved you, he still loves more than anything in this world." I didnt believe her. He hurt me so badly.  
" He just left you thinking that will be better for you. But he was wrong. I need to tell him that."  
" No Alice, dont tell him. Promise me you wont tell him" I begged. It could be too painful to me.  
" Now Im alone, I have a family and thats important to me." she was heartbroken at that point but I was worse. I felt that pain again. Too strong pain, like my heart stopped. The door opened and Seth came in. He found Ellie and Jake sleeping on sofa. When he saw me crying it was too much for him.  
" I knew I shouldnt go" He said " You should go now"  
" No Seth its ok. She needs to stay, for me" I begged. He hugged me and kissed in my forehead.  
" Bells, we have seen that vampire, but maybe you should get rest before you will get the news"  
" No Seth, Im fine. Tell me" I asked. I needed to know the truth.  
" Its female with red hair. We trying find out what she wants because she is absolutelly looking for something" He answered.  
Now I finally understood. My eyes went blank. I needed to get to my kids now!  
" Whats wrong. Bells" Seth run to me. I had both kids in my arms.  
" Its Victoria. She is back for me" I whispered. And then everything went blank again

SURPRISES

" I need to talk to Edward" Alice said and before I could stop her she dialed a number.  
" No answer" She stated. " And the thing is I cant see him at all. Im not sure where is he now"  
I was surprised. How come she couldnt see Edward. I started panicking. Is he still alive? Is he dead? That was too much for me to handle. First - Victoria is back, then Edward... I was mad at him and so sad at the same time. Thinking that he might be dead were eating me from inside. Seth read my face and been on my side just in few seconds.  
" Bells Im here for you. Dont worry." He touched my hair and gave me a kiss in forehead. I loved him like my brother, my true friend who will be there for me always when I needed. I looked at Alice. Her eyes were pure black like she hadnt hunt for ages. But it wasnt the case. She just wanted badly to see Edward.  
"I need to speak with Carlisle." And she disappeared behind the door.  
" I cant believe that after all these years you are still worried about him." He whispered.  
" He was big part of my life, like Jake. I still love them both" I cried. My kids sleeping on my knees.  
" I will take care of you and them. Nobody will hurt you anymore Bells. You know I love you" He said hugging me.  
" I know I love you too, Seth, thats why I cant let you deal with Victoria."  
" I will be fine Bells. Our pack will take care of it."  
At the same time I started feel really tired. Didnt know whats that meant.  
" We will help too" Alice said as soon as she came back. She heard our talk. But who she ment by " we" ? Cullens?  
" Alice dont.." was all I said before darkness took me over.

" Mummy, mummy" I could hear Jake but my eyes didnt want to open.  
" Jakey, shes ok. Just wait with Alice and Ellie outside, when I will speak with doctor" I heard Seth. Doctor? Was I in hospital again?  
" Be honest doctor" I heard. My eyes started to see a bit of light, but then I shoot them back so I wouldnt distract them. I needed to know how much time I have left.  
" Miss Swan case is worst than we thought at the beginning. Cancer cells are spreading quickly. We think it will be better if she stay in hospital.." Voice said.  
" No" I said and opened my eyes. " I want to be at home with my family. "  
" Miss Swan you should rest."  
" I dont have much time do I? I dont want to spend it in hospital" I said. Truth was I have been scared. I can go out from hospital and meet Victoria. Since Im dying at least I can spend some time with Ellie and Jake and make them safe at the end.  
" Bells dont say that everything will be fine" Seth said.  
" Its ok Seth." I said.  
" Miss Swan stay at least few more nights till we make all tests" Doctor said.  
" Ok" I confirmed.  
Doctor left and Alice came in with too the most important people in the world for me.  
" Charlie will be here in a minute" She said. I looked at Ellie and Jake. They were both crying. Ellie climb on my bed. Seth tried to stop her but I gave him a sign with my head that is ok. She hugged me. Jake didnt wait either and in few seconds his head were on my chest.  
" Im ok, sweethearts. Mummy is fine."  
I could here Charlie running through hospital hall and asking everybody on the way for me. Finally he reached my room and I could see he was crying.  
" Bells.." He run to my bed.  
" Im ok dad" I said.  
" You are not." He looked around and he froze when he noticed Alice in the corner of the room.  
" Alice.." He couldnt say anything more.  
" Charlie I came too see if Bella was all right. I know that my brother hurt her, my family did also when we left but..." She tried to explain.  
" Its not your fault Alice. You was always her good friend." He smiled but I wasnt sure he meant it.  
Then the nurse came in.  
" Im sorry but Miss Swan needs a sleep now."  
" Im not going anywhere" Dad said with his angry voice.  
" Dad please dont be difficult. Please help Seth with Ellie and Jake. You need to tell Leah. She is my good friend. I want to see her when I will wake up. Alice?" I asked  
" yes Bella" I loved that velvet voice.  
" You should rest" I said but what I meant was hunting. She understood.  
" You are right" She gave me a hug and left. Her cold arms reminded me about that happy time when I was falling asleep in Edwards arms. I could see that nurse giving me some injection and I felt really sleepy. Before I drifted away I have seen Charlie being almost pull out from the room.  
When I opened my eyes Charlie was sitting on my bed.  
" Dad" I whispered.  
" Shhh... Save energy sweetheart." He put hand on my head.  
" Bells" I heard Alice. " Dont be angry" She said before I could see a perfect statue coming in to the room. Charlie was calm. They probably seen each other before. I didnt believe that this is real. It couldnt be. But then I heard that beautiful velvet voice.  
" Hello Bella" Carlisle stayed just few inches away. I missed him. I missed everybody. I forget how I have been hurt when they left. I was pleased to see him.  
" dad..." I tried to asked if he doesnt mind.  
" I leave you with doctor Cullen. I have spoken with him before. Alice explained that they all missed you. They wanted to see you. I couldnt say no. I knew you wouldnt want me too" He said calmly. He knew Im dying so he decided to let go all his anger, for me.  
" I love you dad" I whispered. He kissed me in forehead and left.  
" Carlisle" I said almost crying. " Is he... here? " I asked.  
" No Bella, We dodnt know where is he. But Esme, Emmet, Jasper and even Rosalie waiting out. We missed Alice wanted me to look after you. She told me what happened. About everything."  
I didnt mind she did. They all came here to see me, to protect me.  
" Carlisle you cant.." I started.  
" I will take care of you at home and we need to take care of Victoria"  
" My kids" I manage to choke.  
" Who?" I guess Alice didnt tell them about my two little angels.  
I didnt say anything more about them at this point it would be better if they just see them.  
I noticed Alice at doors.  
" Hope you dont mind" She said.  
" No Alice. Can you tell Seth that I want to see him and my too angels too?" I asked.  
" Sure"  
" And ask your family to come. Cat wait to see Emmet" I smiled.  
I never thought that will have to be dying to see them again. Alice went out and Dr Cullen started checking my card. Then I heard a strong voice.  
" Bells I missed you" It was Emmet. Behind him came Rosalie, Jasper and my dear Esme.  
Emmet had big grin on his face, Rosalie brought me a flowers. Did she change?  
" Bella" Blond girl came to me. " Im so sorry I was horrible to you, I never meant..."  
" Rose dont worry" I whispered. I was weak too week. They all sit around my bed. Even Jasper looked more comfortable around me. We have been talking for a while. I didnt want them to leave, even for a minute. I smiled. It was so long when I smiled like that. I could see Charlie behind the window watching me with smile on his face.  
" Mummy" I knew what that voice meant.  
" Ellie , Jake" I tried to scream but what I did was not more than another whisper. They both climb on my bed and hugged me. Seth stood in the back being careful. Cullens were shocked.  
" Is that.." Rose started.  
" I thought Alice told you. Yes Rose these are my too little children. Jacob is their father"  
I could see expression on Rosalies face.  
" They are beautiful" She said. " Why we didnt find out before?" She asked.  
" Alice couldnt see me or them. they are shape-shifters as their father and Seth. Seth tried to stay calm but he looked worried. I was scared he might phase.  
" Seth, can you bring me a water?" I asked. He didnt want to but he gave in.  
" Mummy who are they" Jacob Seth asked. Ellie just follow his eyes.  
" This is Carlisle and Esme" I pointed " Alices mum and dad. And they are Alices husband Jasper. And this is Rosalie and Emmet, Alices brother and sister"  
" Wow he is huge" Jake said pointing at Emmet. Everybody laughed. Ellie jumped out from bed and run to Rosalie. She tried to reach something, maybe her face. Rose picked her up and Ellie touched her hair.  
" Beautiful" She stated. That picture made me cry again. It was like my family was back. Apart of my Edward and my Jacob. I was mad at them but at this point I didnt need anything more. Ellie trusted Cullens like I did. Seth came back and he wasnt happy but at least he didnt shake anymore. He sat next to me and took Jake on his lap.  
" Seth we ned to talk to Sam." Carlisle said to him. I knew its about Victoria.  
' Sure" Seth answered putting Jake on the floor. Seth was great. He understood how Cullens are important to me.  
Jakey went straight to Emmet.  
" Mummy, I want to be that big" They all laughed. I laughed.  
" She needs to go to do some test and we need to talk. Charlie will be here. "Carlisle sad.  
" Can you tell Charlie to take Ellie and Jake. He need some rest too, so he should go home. i said. They all left, Rose was carrying Ellie, who still played with her hair and Emmet had Jake on his back. I wasnt happy the were going Stupid test. They didnt matter since Im dying anyway. But then I saw nurse again. Time to sleep I said to myself.  
I dosnt know how long I slept but a small whisper woke me up. It was night. I hope that Alice and her family is here but tis voices were different. I tried to see them in the darkness but I couldnt.  
" Who is here?" I asked a bit scared. Then two people came out from the shadows. I would recognize these two faces everywhere. Was I still dreaming. I started crying. I didnt know if I can stop crying. Even if this was just a dream it was too painful. And then two shadows moved to me bad and sit next to me. I could feel touch on my hair. I couldnt believe its real.  
" Bella I am so sorry" I heard.


	7. Chapter 7

UNEXPECTED  
Two shadows were standing now near my bed. I didn't have that vivid dreams or maybe nightmares for ages now. I thought that my life changed, I thought I might forget. After that day I had, after seeing my long lost family I thought that everything will be, how it should be. But the nightmares were back.  
"Bella I am so sorry. If I knew…" beautiful voice said to me. I didn't hear that voice in my head for over 4 years. I knew this is only a dream and when I wake up, everything will be back to normal.  
" Bells, are you ok?" Another voice sounded in the darkness. I knew that voice to well. Five years ago that voice helped me to live as normal person again.  
" I need to wake up" I screamed. I missed this two faces in my life but I was to afraid of pain. I was dying. I wasn't sure how much more I can take on my shoulder. "I need to wake up" I repeated.  
" Bella, you don't sleep" I heard. I didn't believe these voices. I knew this is only another bad dream from past. Past was hunting me now.  
And then I felt that icy cold on my right hand and burning hot on left. Was I dying? And then another hand brushed my hair, the same way like many years ago when I was so in love with vampire. I could smell the scent. The dream felt so real.  
" Bells I didn't want to left you. I had too" Another husky voice said to me. I started crying. I noticed that beautiful golden brown eyes in darkness. I looked to see another person. The eyes were black and hair were black and spiky.  
" No!" I screamed. Past should stay a past.  
" Bella?" Seth joint my nightmare. " Bella I smelled a vampire and the I heard you scream so…." He looked on two visitors. I could see his shocked face.  
" Jake?" he almost whispered. " What you are doing here? And what he is doing here?" His voice was shaking.  
" Its Edward" Jacob answered.  
" Seth help me wake up, please" I begged. "I cant handle this"  
" Bella hun, you are not sleeping. They are here" My best friend told me and put a light on next to my bed.  
I saw two faces from my past. On my right was Edward. On my left stood Jacob. This couldn't be happening.  
" Seth, take them away from me. I don't want to see them at all. I don't need them!" I begged through tears. They really have been there. Edward frozen in his seventeen year old body still looked gorgeous. And then there was Jacob, my Jacob looking at me first time from over four years. I was getting angry. I was mad, scared and pain was killing me from inside. Seth sat next to me after he pushed his ex best friend and Edward away from me. He hold my hand trying to calm me down. How they dare turning up now, after that many years.  
"Let me explain" Edward started while Jake just stood looking confused.  
" I don't want your explanation. You were my word and you left me when you got bored of my presence. You told me you didn't love me. That day something died in me. Now I don't want you I don't need you!" I said with tears in my eyes. " And you." I turned to Jacob. " how do you dare to come back after how you left me three weeks before wedding. Can you imagine how I felt sitting in my window every day waiting for you. I trusted you, you took away the rest of my hope future. I don't want any of you now. I don't love any of you!" And then I burst in tears. Seth were just by my side. I lied. I still loved them. It was different kind of love for them. Edward was my eternal love, Jacob was my true and healthy kind of love. But it didn't matter now. They made a decision long time ago. Now I needed to make sure that my kids will have a good life after I will be gone.  
" You should go" I heard Seth. He looked at his friend. I could see a pain in Jakes eyes but I didn't care. I wanted them to leave. " Try to speak with her in the morning" he whispered. I tried not to hear that. I wasn't sure that I really didn't want to see them. I missed them. But seeing them was too much painful now when I had Victoria hunting me and probably my family. When they left I felt empty and hurt even more. But I wasn't going to forgive them. They killed me long time ago. Old Bella doesn't exist anymore. I finally started falling asleep in Seths arms…

When I wake up Seth was still by my side.  
" You should speak with them Bells. Jacob needs to know he is a father"  
" Did somebody told him?" I was worried.  
" No. they both didn't left hospital and it was just me here with you. Leah took Ellie and Aden from Charlie. He needed to go to work for some reason. Leah will be here in a minute." He continued. " You know I am on your side, do you? I love you Bella and just think you should listen what they need to say."  
" I don't. I am not going to live much longer Seth. I don't need them now. I need you to make sure my kids are safe that's all." My voice was shaking.  
" They need a father. Bells." I knew he was right. I just wanted to tell him that I will speak with them both, when Ellie and Jakey run into my arms.  
" vampires" Leah whispered and then turn around to face Edward and Jacob. Leah almost phased before Seth drugged her out of the room.  
" Who is this" Asked Jake. It was time to tell Jacob…

Ellie looked at Edward and Jacob and then turn her face to me.  
"Bella I didn't know that you and Seth have" Jake started but didn't finish. I knew what he meant. He thought that me and Seth are together and Ellie and Jake are our children.  
"I shouldn't come back." Edward added.#  
"Mummy why they are staring at you?" Ellie asked. She was curious, her brother to. "Jakey he looks like you" Ellie pointed on my ex- almost-to-be-husband. And then Jacobs eyes opened wide.  
"You gave him my name.." Jake had a tears in his eyes.  
" I did" I sighed. " I wanted him to have at least name after a dad he never knew" Edward understood in one second but Jacob just stood there quiet and emotional. "Yes Jacob, meet your son Jacob Seth and your daughter Ellie Leah." I finished.  
Ellie looked at me. I wasn't sure they knew what I meant.  
"This is impossible" Jake said to me. Edward stood quite but I could see that he was heartbroken. I didn't care. He left me ages ago and now I didn't need him.  
" It is Jake. I wanted to tell you that I was pregnant. But you left me. You have been so cold to me. I cant believe that you have been so heartless after all I have been through. I thought you love me and you haven't been better than Edward." I started crying again." I don't want nothing to do with you Edward and with you neither Jacob. Since my angels disserve to know dad you can see them but stay away from me" I didn't know how I manage to say that. I turned to Ellie and Jakey.  
"Mummy why are you crying?" My little boy asked.  
" You remember when I have told you that your daddy needed to go somewhere else? Well…He is back and he is staying right there" I pointed on Jacob. He was crying. He was heartbroken. Ellie didn't need anything else same as Jakey. They both jump down from my bed and run in Jacobs arms. It was beautiful picture. I have been waiting to see this for so long. I was still angry at Jacob and Edward and I wasn't sure I will ever forgive them but at least two important people in my life were happy.  
" Daddy" Ellie shouted hugging Jacob at the same time.  
Jake took them both and his arms, the he faced me.  
"I need to explain" he started.  
" Bella you don't know everything" Edward said.  
" I know the most important part. That past few years you both didn't care." I answered.  
" Bella I do love you. That's why I left" First time Jacob was talking more than Edward.  
"How pathetic and self centered you are!" I shouted " You left me because you love me?!"  
"Yes Bella. I knew that you still loved Edward so I went to find him" he whispered.  
" I loved you. We suppose to get married and you left me!" More and more tears were coming from my eyes.  
" Bella every night you were saying his name and begged him to stay with you. I couldn't handle this anymore. I preferred to be heartbroken than see you suffering. It took me four years to find Edward"  
" bella that is what he told me" Edward answered " I shouldn't have been left you in first place. I hoped you will be better without me"  
" You said you didn't love me. But you know you right. I am better alone" I lied. I loved them both Jacob and Edward. I couldn't say which one I loved more. They were both different.  
" I listened your story now leave me alone. Take kids to Seth and Leah please. Now go!"  
" Bella.." Edward whispered.  
" Please go…" I cried so badly. I saw them disappearing behind the door. I knew they will be back. And I was afraid how I am going to survive this. On the other side I was thinking how much time I have left.  
" How are you feeling Miss Swan" I didn't noticed doctor coming in. " is everything ok?" he looked concerned. " Everything will be fine. We will start chemotherapy. And now we have the best doctor you can imagine here Dr Cullen is back" he smiled.  
" I don't care. I am going home" I said.  
" Miss Swan It will be better if we start treatment immediately".  
" No. I said before. I am going home. Can you call Seth Clearwater and ask him to pick me up" I knew that Charlie will protest. It was surprise that he haven't been here yet.  
" But Miss Swan…"  
" Don't Miss Swan me. I am going home. Now! " I almost shouted. Doctor looked at me with surprise.  
" Fine I will get everything ready…" And he left


End file.
